Malawi's president is allergic to her country's papers

BENJA: What a dressing down! But is the president serious that she doesn't like the sight of our local newspapers?

DANISO: Maybe but then how does she know that they are unkind to her? That her White House sojourn didn't make it to the front pages? Telepathy? Maybe the good prophet TBJ prophesies the stories and phones to brief her.

BENJA: Come on! For all we know, she could be getting press briefings.

DANISO: Maybe, maybe not. By the way, I think the public needn't have seen some of the dirty laundry she brought out. I was also very surprised by her comment about MBC TV. How can she make such a sweeping statement about it being open when, according to her, she only watched it once?

DANISO: MBC TV open? Does she know what she's saying? She should watch it for a whole day and see how much PP fare viewers are forced to watch. And while she's at it, let her browse the Malawi News Agency website as well.

BENJA: MANA is something else. If your only source of news was MANA, you would think there's no opposition in Malawi, that opposition parties aren't holding conventions, that they aren't going round on incessant whistle stop tours, that PP and UDF thugs didn't slug it out in Zomba, that everything in Malawi is going as smooth as Swiss clockwork.

DANISO: I think like every Malawian leader before her, Her Excellency is addicted to praise singing. Anything else is anathema to her.

BENJA: All the more reason she should be watching MBC TV.

DANISO: I think she doesn't realise praise singing gives her a false sense of achievement, a skewed perception of her people's feelings. These she can only genuinely gauge if she were being given press briefings.

BENJA: She also ought to be paying a little more attention to her Facebook page. As far as the world is concerned, it's the president's page.

DANISO: Let's not go there. Please.

: Ok. Fine. Let's talk football then. What conclusions have you drawn from the recent Champions League earth shuttering results?

: I think the two-team Spanish League was lulled into a false sense of superiority. They didn't realise that football has since migrated north and been infused with ruthless German efficiency.

BENJA: 4-0, 4-1. Who would've thought? I think bookies have made a killing because nobody could've seen those scores coming.

DANISO: Nobody.