Daniso unreachable

Gondolosi, giving a herbal push to Malawian men for generations.
Photo courtesy of Elson Kambalu

BENJA: JFK, have you seen Daniso today.

JFK: No, not today. Maybe he has a visitor.


JFK: Uhmm ... A VISITOR.

BENJA: Not a bad idea considering how chilly Blantyre is today.

JFK: I just hope he doesn't require a herbal push.

BENJA: A herbal push! Daniso? He doesn't strike me as someone who would willfully take mugfuls of anything without a prescription.

JFK: You never know. You see, men your age bother their women almost on a daily basis.  Oh, yes. Women even run out of headache themed excuses.

BENJA: No way!

JFK: Oh yes! Women even end up going to nights of prayer just to get away from their demanding husbands. Some even cut a finger or two to produce some blood to use in faking an out-of-sync that time of the month.

BENJA: Don't tell me.

JFK: Uhmm. Anyway, women get tired. But as the years go by, it's the women who do the bothering, and it's us the men who've to come up with excuses. Not on a daily basis, thankfully.

BENJA: You can't be serious?

JFK: Young man, I'm dead serious. Say a man fulfilled his duties on a Friday ... in the wee hours of the morning because he would be applying for a visa for a Fathers' Day outing later in the day ... and on a Wednesday the wife felt like she was due a repeat ...

BENJA: And ...?

JFK: Iwee! "Kodi mai, bwanji kodi?" he would protest. "Sitapanga dzana-dzana lomweli ... yeah, we did it just the other day, not so"

BENJA: Then a herbal push would be the answer, no? Or the blue pill, if one can afford it.

JFK: But not without a prescription, young man. Haven't you ever heard of men orgasming themselves to death?

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