Daniso's Warped Mind

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When a president goes bananas

on September 11, 2011

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A government website clearly states who is second in command

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Do Malawian banks really know their customers?

BENJA: Malawian banks! DANISO: What about them? BENJA: I've a feeling they don't think at all. DANISO: Well, I sure hope so. They're inanimate objects so I would be scared were they to start thinking. BENJA: Smartass! But you know what I mean. DANISO: Maybe but an illustration would help clarify matters, don't you think? BENJA: Fine. Imagine you're an ordinary customer at Malawi's biggest bank. DANISO: By an ordinary customer I suppose you mean someone like me, someone who visits the bank only once in a month to do a full withdrawal of the salary. BENJA: Not really, but I agree for a good number of people a bank is just a pay center. Anyway, even though you're a customer at branch X of Malawi's at one of Malawi's banks, you can walk to any of its ATMs in the country, or even a rival's, and be able to cash up to a certain daily maximum. No questions asked. DANISO: True, but I don't yet see your point. Anyway, go on. BENJA: If on the other ha

Why we Malawians are corrupt

Those of you who are bald, what do you apply on your bald patches? Surely not hair oil. Face cream, perhaps? Body lotion, maybe? I wouldn't know because my problem is quite different. A good friend of mine keeps reminding me that life’s got a wicked liking for serving curved balls. One of mine is having a grey mop when my brother, who’s all of six years older, still sports black hair. Mind you, this is many years after mine was prematurely deserted by melanin. Imagine! By the way, I'm not alone. Many of my friends would also be ‘unproud’ owners of professorial greys were it not for some bottled or tubed help. But, would you believe it, they have the temerity to tease me about my greys! What cheek! I get my own back, though, by reminding them that were they to get long hospital admissions, they wouldn't be getting any visitors. You see, after a while, the veneer of black would disappear and their mops would default to grey. So potential visitors would be passing b

Malawi's president is allergic to her country's papers

BENJA : What a dressing down! But is the president serious that she doesn't like the sight of our local newspapers? DANISO : Maybe but then how does she know that they are unkind to her? That her White House sojourn didn't make it to the front pages? Telepathy? Maybe the good prophet TBJ prophesies the stories and phones to brief her. BENJA : Come on! For all we know, she could be getting press briefings. DANISO : Maybe, maybe not. By the way, I think the public needn't have seen some of the dirty laundry she brought out. I was also very surprised by her comment about MBC TV. How can she make such a sweeping statement about it being open when, according to her, she only watched it once? DANISO : MBC TV open? Does she know what she's saying? She should watch it for a whole day and see how much PP fare viewers are forced to watch. And while she's at it, let her browse the Malawi News Agency website as well. BENJA : MANA is something else. If your only source of ne

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Dannie Grant Phiri 2010

When a president goes bananas

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