Daniso's Warped Mind

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When a president goes bananas

on September 11, 2011

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A government website clearly states who is second in command

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Malawi's president is allergic to her country's papers

BENJA : What a dressing down! But is the president serious that she doesn't like the sight of our local newspapers? DANISO : Maybe but then how does she know that they are unkind to her? That her White House sojourn didn't make it to the front pages? Telepathy? Maybe the good prophet TBJ prophesies the stories and phones to brief her. BENJA : Come on! For all we know, she could be getting press briefings. DANISO : Maybe, maybe not. By the way, I think the public needn't have seen some of the dirty laundry she brought out. I was also very surprised by her comment about MBC TV. How can she make such a sweeping statement about it being open when, according to her, she only watched it once? DANISO : MBC TV open? Does she know what she's saying? She should watch it for a whole day and see how much PP fare viewers are forced to watch. And while she's at it, let her browse the Malawi News Agency website as well. BENJA : MANA is something else. If your only source of ne...

It's yet another of my many birthdays

Birthdays. The more they accumulate the less the desire to acknowledge them let alone celebrate them, and the stronger the urge to postpone them. But you can’t dodge them even though you know that each of them adds to the bundle of years that weighs you down a little more each year. Yes, they keep coming back like a pesky fly to a honeyed bun when what you want is to have a birthday every other year. Or indeed, one five years. Unfortunately, unless you’re a Malawian footballer, you don’t have the luxury to pick and choose the years in which you’ve birthdays. I cannot say thanks and no thanks. So I’ve to accept that today the 18th day of September the humdrum of my life has been milestoned by yet another birthday. Just as it was last year, the year before, the year before that and every year in the decades I’ve so far accumulated. Which means I’ve no choice but to blow out the uncountable imaginary candles on the imaginary birthday cake and make a wish. But what’s my birthday wi...

Mixed up shoes

What a night. Not that I could remember much about it, mind you. But I went home in the early hours of the morning. I wouldn't have done that had it been a lousy night, would I? In any case, I'd been with her again. No, not the wife. What's wrong with you? A couple of hours after getting into my matrimonial bed I was violently shaken awake by an angry wife. Apparently, her gentler attempts to wake me up had come to nought. But the localised earthquake did the trick. When the cobwebs had cleared from my head somewhat, it was explained to me that we had to get going. Already! Man, I hate the morning after, especially when you've to do a 300 km trip to attend some stupid wedding. But for the sake of peace in the house, I rushed to freshen up. Passport size, of course. Didn’t have time for a shower. How could I have found the time with an angry wife glowering at me? In my condition, there was no way I was going to drive. So the wife drove while I flopped onto the bac...

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Dannie Grant Phiri 2010

When a president goes bananas

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